When reading this emergency, I cannot but add the section from the scientifical bible of the 20th century “Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson” about electricity:
” ‘My experiments, from the very beginning, brought me an incalculable
number of proofs of all kinds, both for myself and for others, that the
omnipresent substance Okidanokh is a part of the common presence of the
atmosphere of our planet, and evidently of the presence of the atmosphere of
other planets as well, and that it takes part in the arising of all planetary and
surplanetary formations—including of
course the “khraprkhalikhrokhnian” part of every being— and in the maintenance of their existence.
‘In the course of my further experimental elucidations, I also became entirely certain that although our solar system, like all the other solar systems of the Great Universe, has its own “Ansanbaluiazar,” and that each planet, with its atmosphere, is the specific place of concentration of one or another class of cosmic substances of the given “common-system Ansanbaluiazar,” the cosmic substance Okidanokh is nonetheless an indispensable and even predominant part of the presence of each planet.
‘And later my experiments also showed me that, thanks to the common universal equilibrium, this cosmic substance is concentrated in every system in a strictly corresponding proportion, and is also distributed in strictly determined proportions among the atmospheres of all the planets of the given system Consequently, whenever this universal substance is used up in any part of atmospheric space, either by accident or design, it must without fail be replenished to restore the equilibrium of its proportions in the atmosphere, and this takes place by the flowing in of this substance from other places And this balancing transposition of Okidanokh must be effected not only from one place to another in the atmosphere of each planet, but also from the atmosphere of one planet to that of another, if in this other, for some reason, more than its established norm is used up.
” ‘Finally, I very definitely made clear to my Reason from every aspect, and proved to others, that the omnipresent cosmic substance Okidanokh, present in our atmosphere and constantly being replenished, is necessary for the common presence of our planet and is the most important factor for every kind of arising and maintenance of existence, and also that the essence of every “relatively independent” intra-planetary and surplanetary formation, as well as the essence of beings of every brain-system and external coating, depends on this substance, and I even proved that the possibility for three-brained beings to perfect themselves and ultimately to blend with the Prime Cause of everything existing depends exclusively on this substance.
” ‘I repeat, as a result of all my experimental elucidations, I very definitely
cognized for myself, and acquired indisputable data for proving from every
aspect to all the beings like myself around me, that the destruction of the
omnipresent cosmic substance Okidanokh in the presence of our planet and of
its atmosphere is almost equivalent to the conscious destruction of all the
labors and results of the Most Sacred First Cause of everything that exists ‘
“In the middle of Gornahoor Raoorkh’s explanations about the properties of the omnipresent cosmic substance Okidanokh, and the inevitable consequences of its extraction from the common presence of every planet, and of its ensuing destruction, a suspicion arose in me, and all sorts of pictures gradually appeared in my memory connected with impressions— perceived during my personal sojourns among your favorites and in the period of my close observations from the planet Mars of their ordinary beingexistence—showing how at different periods they repeatedly obtained this substance or its separate parts from the nature of their planet and used them for their various naively egoistic aims .
“And when, during Gornahoor Raoorkh’s further explanations, remembered by association the request of the great toof-nef-tef of the planet Mars, I became aware with all my being and without the least doubt, of all the maleficent consequences of this manifestation of the three-brained beings of your planet.
“They have named the totality and the separate parts of this substance, sacred for them also, differently at different periods, and at the present time they name the result of the blending and reciprocal destruction of two parts of this omnipresent substance ‘electricity. ‘
“And indeed, although several times in earlier epochs they had already discovered—of course, thanks always to an accidental chain of circumstances—various means of extracting from the nature of their planet, and using for their various, as I have called them, ‘naively egoistic aims,’ the separate parts of this omnipresent substance, absolutely necessary for normal cosmic processes, yet never have they destroyed so much of it as in recent times
“So, in this way, thanks to the explanations of my ‘external kesdjanian result,’ I became absolutely convinced of the maleficent action, already begun, of the results of the abnormal ordinary being-existence of the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, and furthermore, the question disturbing my old friend resolved itself, namely, why during recent times it had become more and more difficult for the three-brained beings of the planet Mars to perfect themselves.
“As for the manner in which this question was resolved, I might say that it happened just as described, in reference to similar cases, in a rarely quoted saying of our esteemed Mullah Nasr Eddin:
‘You never know who will help you to get out of a galosh.’
“In fact, for the resolution of this question, my old friend had in mind Individuals with quite other data and possibilities than those of my friends on Saturn, who were simply ordinary three-brained beings He probably did not suspect that as regards such questions, these ordinary three-brained beings, who acquire information about all sorts of real cosmic facts thanks only to their ‘being-partkdolgduty,’ are
in most cases more competent than any of the angels or cherubim with their ready-made Being who, though perfected in Reason to high gradations, may nonetheless, as regards practical confrontation, appear to be merely such individuals as our always respected Mullah Nasr Eddin describes in the following words.
” ‘Never will he understand the sufferings of another, who has not experienced them himself, though he have divine Reason and the nature of a genuine devil!’ ”
At this point in Beelzebub’s tales, there were diffused, all along the intersystem ship Karnak, artificially produced vibrations which had the property of penetrating into the common presence of all the passengers of the vessel and acting on what are called the “wandering nerves” of the stomach.
This artificially produced phenomenon was an announcement to the passengers that it was time to assemble in the common what is called “djameechoonatra,” a sort of “monastic refectory” in which the second being-food was collectively taken.